Primer Eighteen

A kitten gazes fiercely.

This next habit is what separates the ladies from the gossips: Don’t criticize anybody. Criticism is blatantly unpleasant and usually unwanted and unhelpful. You can teach without criticizing and you can correct without causing shame.  If you must criticize, criticize systems, politics, and inanimate objects, not people. I’m all about brains and efficiency, but you can make things right without hurting anyone involved.

Too, criticisms that you spout just to use as a bonding mechanism with other people usually reflect poorly on you; recreational criticism is something that you should absolutely avoid because it makes you look like you’re mean and superficial.

Real ladies are not mean and superficial. Don’t talk behind someone’s back, don’t shame someone in public, and don’t offer advice unless it’s truly necessary. You’re smart; if there’s something that you must fix, do it intelligently and graciously–don’t fall back on cutting words.

Notice that we’re building up a portfolio of deportment tools; it’s a rigorous portfolio! You’re removing profanity and criticism from your speech. You’re smiling at everyone you meet. You’re standing and sitting with excellent posture.  You’re refusing to say anything bad about yourself or others. These are qualities that will set you apart from the thoughtless masses; the gracious, dignified, and notable people whom we admire also cultivate these habits. Take a look at the picture above; I know that you’re fierce. Gentle up and become one of the great treasures in your community.

How well did you score today? I’ll post my score in the comments, and I hope that you’ll do the same. If it’s your first time here, I’m hoping that you’ll skip back to Primer One and start at the very beginning.  We’re building habits one day at a time, and I want you to be able to really absorb one concept at a time before you move ahead. Go easy on yourself–start by putting on chap stick!


1. Apply chap stick.
2. Drink a big glass of water.
3. Sit and stand with excellent posture.
4. Exercise for thirty minutes.
5. Clean your nails thoroughly.
6. Dress in clothes that fit you perfectly.
7. Apply lotion to your feet and hands at bedtime.
8. Wear one piece of pretty jewelry.
9. Wear a dab or a spritz of perfume.
10. Stretch gently for five minutes at bedtime.
11. Floss and thoroughly brush your teeth twice a day.
12. Smile at everyone.
13. Refuse to say anything bad about anyone, including yourself.
14. Remove profanity from your speech.
15. Go to bed in time to get eight hours of sleep.
16. Wear a signature piece.
17. Cook at least one meal with healthy ingredients.
18. Don’t criticize anyone.


Filed under Beauty

3 responses to “Primer Eighteen

  1. great post! I will try doing everything on the list. 😉

  2. I have a sister for whom criticizing is a favorite pastime, so this one is not much of a stretch. The few time I do it I hear her voice and it prompts me to apologize or restate n a positive way immediately.

    18 point. I may have dis’d me, but I am seeing it and where/when I do it so it is becoming less of a habit.

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